How Students Address Family Politics During the Holidays
Adam Calder
Thanksgiving is here! And the holiday means something different to everyone. For many of us who share our family’s political leanings, it’s a fun and light reconnection with loved ones over great (or perhaps less than great) food. For others, it’s a battle of wills where a table full of food may grow cold and congealed as political arguments take focus. No matter the dynamic, there’s a lesson for us to learn in how we get along with our families at times of gathering. This week, we’re interviewing BridgeUSA students on how they navigate disagreements with their family about politics around the holidays, and what advice they have learned from bridge-building.
Some serious war stories may follow, so consider yourself warned.
For our first part of this series, we spoke with Will, a BridgeUSA member at Jacksonville University.
This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
I want to start with your family’s politics. How much would you say your politics differs from your family?
Well, I’m conservative. I’d definitely describe myself as a Republican. A few weeks ago, I voted for Donald Trump. But my family is liberal. We’re from New Jersey. It’s a very left-leaning state. So whenever I go home there’s definitely a lot of disagreement.
Let’s get into some of those disagreements. I’m assuming family dinner at your house can get intense? What was one major disagreement?
Yeah, it definitely gets intense! I think one of the craziest times was actually last Thanksgiving. This was after all of the indictments had come down on Trump. A cousin of mine who goes to Rutgers was asking, “How could anyone support him now?” And, of course, I responded and told her that a lot of people felt the cases were biased or politically motivated. My parents had to intervene and get us to stop, but only after we had gotten pretty heated. So my support of Trump is kinda [sic] aggravating to them.
How do you navigate the fact that your support for Trump aggravates some family members?
Well before I joined Bridge, I just tried to avoid it. But now we actually can have a conversation. I don’t go over the norms that we use in our BridgeUSA meetings at dinner, but I have an easier time accepting their point of view now. Our debates now tend to just focus on real substance, and when I express something, a point of view of mine, and I do it calmly and nicely, everyone tends to match my tone. Our debates tend to get less heated when I start by being a bit more civil.
Is that what you would recommend to others who have heated disagreements with family?
Yeah, definitely. If politics comes between you and some family members, I think it would always be wise to start things off on a civil note. I think that people respond based on how they are spoken to. And if people want to have a real conversation, about substance, I would say it’s important to set the tone.
Any other advice for people discussing politics with family this year?
I think since the election is over, everyone should prioritize policy. And try to keep personal problems out of it. Like personal attacks about Kamala or Trump aren’t necessary. I feel like now, we can focus on actual policies we disagree on. If we can do that, then politics at Thanksgiving won’t be so tough this year.
Get more tips on navigating political disagreements with your family, here.
